Outness levels have always been an interesting subject for me.
Being black and African where it is drilled into from a young age that from an African / Caribbean mentality POV, having guys as your preference will not be tolerated. It will also conjure up feelings of repulsion and digust within family members who hold this view due to the images they associate with gay people. This preference is seen as a sickness that brings shame onto the family name and is looked at as choice that should be prayed away.
So imagine, you are in your teens, twenty or in some cases older and through dating you are reconciling your attraction with like minds but with the burden of the people who you love hating a part of what makes you, you?
You begin to introvert your experiences through the need to avoid discussing your love life, in some cases avoiding family functions where as you get older, siblings peers and other family members of your generation settle down and get married while you keep them at arms length.
So the question is, can you be happy with someone who is out and accepted by their family? Or are you limited to swimming in the pond of discreet like minds carrying the weight of the world as they figure this thing out called life?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below:
