Ever since I accepted the fact that I was attracted to other guys, I've made it a mission to not have it interfere with any other areas of my life. After all, who I choose to lay with is my business and I refused to let the fact that I am attracted to guys give people the ammunition to think that I am less than.
Homophobic childhood friends and family just get evasion when asking questions about my love life. After all, the mainstream examples we see on TV today would have their heads thinking feminine and flamboyant by default.
But after a while the bottling up starts to weigh heavily, especially when you go through a painful breakup where all your energy is drained getting over the situation. Or worse still you become depressed because you feel that men are a losing game. It also impacts your ability to make solid friendships.
I would rather have the conditional love of friends and family of what they know of me, than the alienation for actions that affect me and not them.
The irony is, a girl said to me "There is a sadness behind your eyes". If only she knew.
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